I advice anyone who might feel the urge to not read this, to stop right now. Don't.

Lately I haven't been in a really great place. And I'm hoping things are getting better now, but I'm not really sure.

I have just been really tired and overwhelmed with a feeling that I can't do anything right. And my self-esteem have really been low. I am still pretty tired, but things are better now.
I work hard at school and I expect good grades for myself. I really struggle with math. But last Friday I got back our latest test, and I was really pleased with myself then. So that helped.
Everything just feels really strange. Why do I do the things I do?
How many things do I have to juggle at the same time to be happy?
I love being a part of things, doing stuff. But I am starting to wonder if it is to cover up something else? Because whenever I am alone I melancholic. Sometimes it feels right, other times it is just terrible. I have also sort of stopped eating. Or, I have decided to only eat when I am really, really hungry. Which isn't really often, so there you go. Like today I ate a bun, a clementine and a oatmeal cookie. So. yeah.
It feels good though, but I know it is wrong. But I always eat after a workout/dance rehearsal.  I am not stupid.

Today I went to the movies and watched Perks of Being a Wallflower. I Love the book. And I really liked the movie as well. I am glad I got to see it. I like going to the movies.

I think I know why I don't want to go to sleep right now, even though it is late. I just want the week-end to last longer. I don't want to wake up and have responsibilities.

I'll ask Emil more tomorrow about the audition for writing the play. Maybe I'll try-out. I want to write a book. I have the story in my head, so I just have to get it out. Hopefully, this audition can help me with that. Hopefully.

I love The Smiths.

Bye